Some things never change. The struggle informs.
Paying attention to the struggle, writing about it, sitting with it without trying to “fix” it right away, these are my processes of late. They are gentle to my spirit and reveal truth the way I learned it as a child.
Something’s not working about cleaning up my office. Old energies are stuck here, I think to myself. Old habits, too, of too much work to complete in a day, so I might as well leave it on top to begin working on it in the morning, repeated too many times until a nice big pile looms like a mountain I don’t have the energy to climb. Or so I tell myself. And too many decisions to make. I like Kondo’s sink-cost: the mental and physical toll of keeping unused items is greater than throwing them out. The “pile” sitting there keeps me from going through it. I get only the top three or so items done before… what IS it that keeps me from emptying the pile or giving it a new home?
Stories I tell myself. Self-limiting beliefs that need cleaning out like my winter clothes from the closet. Gotta donate some of those. They don’t bring me joy anymore and I’m trying the Kondo status quo: all will be thrown out unless I can think of a good reason to keep it. No music when decluttering, Marie Konda says. I think my new rule will be no computer on when I’m cleaning off the desk. No email or internet to distract me.
It’s a start. We’ll see if the desk looks better tomorrow.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Click the following link for article in The Atlantic about the phenomenon of this book.